The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

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iaredatsun
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The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by iaredatsun » 12 May 2015 12:33

I thought it was time to collect all the Velvet Underground jokes in one place. In case someone enterprising person decides to collect them all and publish a book. I don't actually know any, but this one popped into my head a minute ago. It's pretty terrible.

Q. What do you call a Stephanie who's been out in the sun too long?

A. Baked Alaska.

I said it was terrible.
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calaminehello
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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by calaminehello » 12 May 2015 18:48

what is lou's favorite thing to do to a book.

what is john's favorite vegetable in which the central leaves do not form a head.

how do you get maureen pregnant.

who is sterling's favorite jim jim.

what is doug's favorite contraction.
*dextrorotory components synthesis of sympathomimetic musics (contains the equivalent of two complete stereo records)

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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by bobbydriver » 13 May 2015 13:47

Knock Knock

Who?s there?

The interrupting Lou Reed

The interrupting Lou Ree?

AWRIGHT!

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iaredatsun
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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by iaredatsun » 14 May 2015 13:56

calaminehello wrote:what is lou's favorite thing to do to a book.

what is john's favorite vegetable in which the central leaves do not form a head.

how do you get maureen pregnant.

who is sterling's favorite jim jim.

what is doug's favorite contraction.
I think these will go in the Velvet Underground Book of Riddles. I feel I should know the answers but don't. I kind of hope there are no answers.
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bradski
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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by bradski » 14 May 2015 20:07

I think these will go in the Velvet Underground Book of Riddles. I feel I should know the answers but don't. I kind of hope there are no answers.
There are answers
Read
Kale
*ucker
Morrison
You'll
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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by threechordwonder » 16 May 2015 12:34

The Velvets were discussing existentialism.

"To do is to be" said John, the European classicist, quoting Socrates.

"To be is to do" said Sterling the medievalist, holding up his copy of The White Goddess, albeit he knew he was bluffing.

Lou pointed to his collection of fifties and sixties bop singles and slurred a few words. "Do - be - do - be - dooby dooby do".


[There are no Velvets jokes. You just have to slot them into existing jokes.]

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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by threechordwonder » 16 May 2015 12:39

Wait ... I think I have one.

Two fans were visiting Scotland and booked a Velvet Underground Magical Mystery Tour.

They jumped on the coach and ended up at the Stirling Morrisons.

(Well, maybe this won't be funny outside the UK.)

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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by bradski » 16 May 2015 14:32

I'm reading the latest Velvet Underground biography. Not brilliant, but it's a good loo read.
any sounds that we feel would detract from the performance has been left in place

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calaminehello
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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by calaminehello » 18 May 2015 19:10

that's the one.

:bowdown:
*dextrorotory components synthesis of sympathomimetic musics (contains the equivalent of two complete stereo records)

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Re: The Velvet Underground Jokes thread

Post by threechordwonder » 28 Jun 2015 21:50

Tasteless satire ... but it exists. Do not read if easily offended.

http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/lou-reed-f ... ever-know/

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